btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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