u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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