Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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