I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
