therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize