And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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