Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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