I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
BRING THE BAGELS
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize