It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
