I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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