in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
my poor anus
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
