Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
