Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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