Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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