so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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