Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
