i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
