her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
