Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
