you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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