She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
