if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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