i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
