yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
