Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He better not be in your backpack
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
