You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
