idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
