She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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