I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
