I want to make a zoo with you.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
