I want to stick my p in your. b.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
