You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
