She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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