Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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