Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he thought i was a dude.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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