Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm always down for nudity.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
