another moral hangover. fuck.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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