so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
