The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
