The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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