dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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