i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm at about main and main street
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
