Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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