It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
