i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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