"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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