I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
