is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
