i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
you will always have a special place in my vag
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
