keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
