I need help removing her.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think I am morally bankrupt
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
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