ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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