just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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