"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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