you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
