Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize