If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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