please come you make the beer taste better
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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