The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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