thus making me awesome and them whores
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
