Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
