As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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