Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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